Vi och dom

När jag var iväg på safari för några veckor sedan så stannade vi en dag till för en lunchpause alldeles innan vi körde in i Serengeti Nationalpark och då stötte jag på något märkligt. En stor grupp med svenska turister som kom instormade på lunchplatsen likt en elefant hord och som lät lika högt som en också, en oönskad störnig för alla oss andra som satt där och som innan dess avnjutit vår lunch i lugn och ro. Guiden var klädd på ett nästan löjligt stereotypt ”safari” sätt och hade fullt upp med att springa runt och se till att alla fick sina rätta lunchlådor och sitt kaffe. Och turisterna var inte så himla mycket bättre de heller eftersom de såg ut att ha shoppat loss inne på naturkompaniet innan de reste hit eftersom de hade kläder och utrustning som jag mer relaterade till att bestiga Kilimanjaro än att åka på safari med. Och där satt jag i shorts och flipflop. Behövde man verkligen allt det där på safari när man i stort sätt bara sitter i bilar hela dagarna? Jag förstod verkligen inte varför.

Det blev en otroligt konstig kontrast. Jag tyckte dom var jobbiga och pinsamma och hela situationen bara skrek charter och jag önskade faktiskt att de bara kunde åka tillbaka till sina Ving-ghetton på Kanarieöarna där de egentligen hörde hemma. De passade inte in i Afrika, de störde bara. De förstörde mitt Afrika, sluta med det tack. Jag var ju inte alls som dem, i alla fall inte den här gången, i alla fall inte längre. När vi varit i Thailand och på svensk guidade turer till gummiplantager och på elefantridning var det jag som kom där med kameran i högsta höjd. Varför skilde det sig så mycket nu?

Det var först när jag kom tillbaka till huset och berättade för de andra tjejerna vad jag hade känt om den här svenska gruppen som en av dom svarade med repliken ”men vadå, känner du dig inte som en mzungo längre?”. Nej, faktiskt inte. Jag borde nog göra det, eftersom färgen på min hud och bristande swahili kunskaper skvallrar om att jag verkligen inte kommer härifrån. Av det faktumet att befolkningen här nere definitivt inte ser mig som en av dem och för att de konstant försöker lura en på pengar för att man i deras ögon oftast bara är en vit, rik turist som kommer hit ner för att förbättra sin egna självkänsla och självbild snarare än att göra någon egentlig skillnad.

Men trots det så känner jag mig inte som den turisten som jag garanterat var när jag kom hit. Jag har slutat bli förvånad över saker som i Sverige garanterat skulle få mig att lyfta på ögonbrynen eller rent ut sagt gapa av förvåning och efter några timmar inne i stan är jag inte längre helt slut på grund alla otroliga intryck. Min hudfärg inbjuder ofta till många intressanta samtal om Sverige och hur världen ser ut där jag kommer ifrån och de fåtal ord jag kan på swahili kommer man väldigt långt på. Jag är så annorlunda från de nya volontärer som kommer till huset och som inte hunnit bli som jag än. De som känner sig malplacerade och även ibland lite chockade över att det faktiskt skiljer sig så mycket mellan Sverige och detta fantastiska land som heter Tanzania. Jag har haft den perioden och jag har även kommit över den och jag är tusentals erfarenheter rikare nu än vad jag var då.

För vad är det egentligen för skillnad på vi och dom? Och vad gör ens hudfärg egentligen för skillnad? Varför ska det kännas så konstigt bara för att jag inte anser att jag tillhör varken mzungos eller locals just nu? Jag har vart här nere i nästan tre månader – jag känner till Tanzanias seder och bruk och jag har lärt känna mina grannar i Soweto. Mer local än så här tror jag aldrig att jag kommer kunna bli, i mina ögon är jag mer dom än vi just nu. Och det känns fint att veta – att en resa kan förändra mig på det här sättet.

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