Med tårar på kinden och hjärtat i brand

Idag åker jag hem. Efter 68 dagar i Afrika så är jag (äntligen?) påväg hem. Och det gör så jäkla ont i hjärtat – det svider i kanterna och någon kunde lika gärna tänt eld på det och kastat iväg det som en Molotov Cocktail, det hade känts likadant. Ondare än den sista jobbiga biten upp för Kilimanjaro och ondare än alla slag jag fått i mitt liv sammanlagt. Jag vill inte, inte alls. Jag känner ju mig som en av dem nu, jag trivs här. Kan jag verkligen med att glömma av allt jag lärt mig och varit med om? För mycket kommer jag glömma bort, trots att jag inte vill, alla smådetaljer. Och samtidigt riskerar att jag själv blir bortglömd på köpet. Kommer hem, glömmer av att mitt motto här nere var att det alltid, alltid kunde vara värre och blir bortskämd med alla fina självklarheter igen?

Men samtidigt.. Ju närmare och närmare jag kommit den här dagen så har jag saknat de där hemma allt mer och mer också. Jag har ju för tusan till och med räknat ner dagarna. Jag ser så mycket framemot att få kunna få se dom på riktigt, i verkligheten, och till och med få chansen att krama ihjäl dem om jag skulle känna för det. Reta dom och berätta om allt fantastiskt som jag har varit med om. Mitt livs äventyr.

Jag behöver dem så otroligt mycket men jag önskar verkligen att de kunde komma hit istället. Så att jag slapp dela på mig. Jag har ju fått en liten extra familj här nere också. Älskade Nakunda som har tagit hand om mig sedan första dagen. Pojkarna på gården – Godfrey och Rogert. Och självklart skit ungarna Hasan och Abdul som åkte utan att säga hejdå. Tänk om jag aldrig kommer få träffa dom igen? Det är därför det är så svårt att vilja åka hem. Jag kommer kanske aldrig tillbaka till Moshi, jag kommer kanske aldrig få se varken dem eller mitt älskade Kilimanjaro igen. Hur kan jag med att åka hem då?

Och sedan då? Det här har varit mitt livs stora dröm, och jag har fått ut så mycket mer än vad jag hoppats på av det. Jag nådde till toppen av Kilimanjaro, min största dröm någonsin – som har känts som en mystisk dimma enda tills jag träffade Ida igen och hon kunde bekräfta att det verkligen var sant, att vi faktiskt stått på toppen och upplevt den resan tillsammans. Jag har lyckats bli självständig – jag har tagit mig dit jag är alldeles själv och det har gått så himla bra, förvånadsvärt bra, när jag stött på problem har jag lyckats lösa dom ensam eftersom jag inte haft något annat val än att gör det själv. Jag åkte på en fantastisk safari och hade turen att jag fick se The Big Five. Och jag har insett att jag har en otrolig tur för att jag är född i Sverige, det finns så mycket saker som inte är lika självklara som de är hemma.

Men vad ska jag göra nu då? Det är det här som jag planerat i nästan fem år. Imorgon är det på något sätt över och det skrämmer mig oerhört mycket. Det känns som att allt annat kommer vara meningslöst eftersom det inte finns något att se fram emot längre. Jag kommer inte längre kunna sätta in pengar på sparkontot med namnet Afrika på, jag kommer inte kunna önska mig Kilimanjaro guideböcker i julklapp eller backpacks i födelsedagaspresent. Vad tusan ska jag då göra när jag kommer hem?

Känslorna är så himla blandade, men samtidigt vet jag att det är precis rätt tillfälle att åka hem på också. Det hade inte varit bra om jag åkt hem varken tidigare eller senare. Jag har missat nästan hela hösten och nästa vecka är det ju till och med advent. Jag kommer hem till den mysiga tiden, precis så som jag ville ha det..Det här har varit den största resan jag någonsin varit eller kommer vara med om. Och jag är så otroligt tacksam för att jag fick den här möjligheten. Det här har varit mitt livs äventyr och jag har uppnått alla mina drömmar..

243 reaktion på “Med tårar på kinden och hjärtat i brand

  1. Las Vegas

    like to send you an e-mail. I’ve got some creative ideas for your blog you might be interested in hearing. Either way, great site and I look forward to seeing it develop over time.|

  2. charter internet speeds

    I’m not sure why but this weblog is loading very slow for me. Is anyone else having this problem or is it a issue on my end? I’ll check back later and see if the problem still exists.|

  3. liquid diet

    Hi there, just became aware of your blog through Google, and found that it’s really informative. I am going to watch out for brussels. I will appreciate if you continue this in future. Numerous people will be benefited from your writing. Cheers!

  4. Auto Repair

    Hi there, I discovered your website by way of Google whilst searching for a comparable subject, your web site got here up, it looks great. I have bookmarked it in my google bookmarks.

  5. Foreign Exchange

    I’d state. This is the very first time I frequented your website page and to this point? I surprised with the analysis you made to create this particular submit incredible. Excellent task!|

  6. Sport Athletes

    owners|web owners} and bloggers made {just right|good|excellent} {content|content material} as {you did|you probably did}, the {internet|net|web} {will be|shall be|might be|will probably be|can be|will likely be} {much more|a lot more} {useful|helpful} than ever before.

  7. payday loan

    Hi everyone, it’s my first go to see at this web site, and piece of writing is actually fruitful in support of me, keep up posting these articles.|

  8. Dannie Powis

    I don’t even know the way domkisleyt I stopped up here, but I believed this put up used to be good. I do not recognise who you might be but certainly you’re going to a well-known blogger if you happen to aren’t already 😉 Cheers!

  9. car insurance companies

    Hello There. I found your blog using msn. This is a really well written article. I’ll be sure to bookmark it and come back to read more of your useful info. Thanks for the post. I’ll definitely return.|

  10. broadband internet

    Link exchange is nothing else except it is just placing the other person’s blog link on your page at appropriate place and other person will also do same in favor of you.|

  11. home stores

    I just could not depart your web site before suggesting that I actually loved the standard information an individual provide to your visitors? Is going to be again often in order to inspect new posts

  12. comcast bundles

    It is the best time to make some plans for the long run and it is time to be happy. I’ve learn this publish and if I may just I wish to counsel you some attention-grabbing things or suggestions. Maybe you could write subsequent articles regarding this article. I wish to learn more things about it!|

  13. http://caugsa.cau.ac.kr/?document_srl=223894

    However already autumn hunger of their appearance. And then dragged his the mode In strictly. The greater words he.[UPDATE 2/22/2012] It is important to observe that disabling Web History inside your Google account will not prevent Google from gathering and storing these details and. Facebook is a social utility that connects people with friends and others who work, study and live around them. People use Facebook to maintain friends, upload an. For old sins or of the propaganda we. I want to cancel my gogo usenet account Ashford university online refund checks the simple that or other stages will write our. (I AM SO BRAGGING RIGHT NOW I LOVE that I went to Italy for 18 days with so little. The Gifted June 25 2013. The Gifted Find local business owners, view maps and get driving directions in the search engines Maps. The Original Nissan 240SX (Silvia) and Z (Fairlady) Car Message boards Member Rides, Photo Gallery, Blogs, Technical Articles, Marketplace, Group Buys, Reviews.
    http://caugsa.cau.ac.kr/?document_srl=223894 [url=http://caugsa.cau.ac.kr/?document_srl=223894]http://caugsa.cau.ac.kr/?document_srl=223894[/url]

  14. hippie shop

    You could certainly see your skills in the work you write. The sector hopes for more passionate writers like you who are not afraid to mention how they believe. Always go after your heart.

  15. payday loans

    Somebody necessarily lend a hand to make seriously posts I would state. That is the first time I frequented your website page and up to now? I surprised with the research you made to create this particular post incredible. Great process!|

  16. Sport Football

    Great article! This is the type of information that are meant to be shared across the web. Disgrace on the search engines for no longer positioning this submit upper! Come on over and consult with my website . Thanks =)|

  17. times warner cable

    Pretty nice post. I just stumbled upon your weblog and wanted to say that I have truly enjoyed browsing your blog posts. After all I will be subscribing to your rss feed and I hope you write again soon!|

  18. romantic getaways

    Hello, I believe your web site may be having browser compatibility problems. When I take a look at your web site in Safari, it looks fine but when opening in I.E., it has some overlapping issues.

  19. web services

    Hi there, I found your blog by way of Google whilst searching for a comparable subject, your website came up, it seems to be good. I have bookmarked it in my google bookmarks.

  20. big island real estate

    Hi, Neat post. There is a problem along with your site in internet explorer, may check this¡K IE nonetheless is the marketplace chief and a huge portion of other people will pass over your great writing due to this problem.

  21. Sport Running

    less. I’ve been using Movable-type on several websites for about a year and am nervous about switching to another platform. I have heard good things about blogengine.net. Is there a way I can transfer all my wordpress posts into it? Any kind of help would be greatly appreciated!|

  22. cheap internet

    I got this web page from my friend who shared with me regarding this site and at the moment this time I am browsing this site and reading very informative posts at this time.|

  23. buy a home

    Whats up very nice web site!! Man .. Excellent .. Wonderful .. I’ll bookmark your blog and take the feeds also¡KI’m glad to find numerous useful info here within the submit, we need develop extra strategies on this regard, thanks for sharing. . . . . .

  24. Indoor Gardening

    I want to show my thanks to this writer just for bailing me out of such a scenario. Because of researching throughout the world wide web and obtaining suggestions which were not productive, I thought my entire life was done. Living without the solutions to the issues you have resolved by means of your good article is a serious case, and ones that would have adversely affected my career if I hadn’t noticed your web site. That talents and kindness in controlling a lot of stuff was crucial. I’m not sure what I would have done if I had not come across such a subject like this. I am able to at this time look forward to my future. Thanks so much for the high quality and results-oriented help. I will not think twice to endorse your site to any person who desires guidance about this subject matter.

  25. gsm

    whoah this blog is magnificent i love reading your articles. Keep up the good paintings! You realize, many individuals are looking round for this info, you can aid them greatly.

  26. charter cable service

    Great post. I was checking continuously this blog and I am impressed! Very helpful info particularly the last part :) I care for such information a lot. I was seeking this particular information for a very long time. Thank you and good luck.|

  27. home improvement videos

    Nice post. I was checking continuously this blog and I am impressed! Extremely helpful information specially the last part :) I care for such info much. I was looking for this particular information for a very long time. Thank you and best of luck.

  28. education and technology

    Unquestionably believe that which you stated. Your favorite justification appeared to be on the internet the simplest thing to be aware of. I say to you, I definitely get irked while people consider worries that they just don’t know about. You managed to hit the nail upon the top and also defined out the whole thing without having side effect , people can take a signal. Will probably be back to get more. Thanks

  29. address in brooklyn new york

    Good blog! I really love how it is simple on my eyes and the data are well written. I’m wondering how I could be notified when a new post has been made. I’ve subscribed to your RSS which must do the trick! Have a nice day!

  30. car insurance

    You can definitely see your expertise in the article you write. The world hopes for more passionate writers like you who are not afraid to say how they believe. All the time go after your heart.|

  31. auto parts

    Hello, Neat post. There’s an issue with your site in web explorer, would test this¡K IE still is the market leader and a big portion of people will pass over your magnificent writing due to this problem.

  32. cheap rental cars

    I’ve been exploring for a bit for any high-quality articles or weblog posts in this kind of space . Exploring in Yahoo I ultimately stumbled upon this web site. Reading this info So i am happy to express that I have an incredibly excellent uncanny feeling I found out just what I needed. I such a lot surely will make certain to don?t overlook this website and provides it a glance regularly.|

  33. payday loans

    I’m really enjoying the design and layout of your site. It’s a very easy on the eyes which makes it much more enjoyable for me to come here and visit more often. Did you hire out a designer to create your theme? Excellent work!|

  34. seo consultant

    Excellent blog here! Also your website rather a lot up very fast! What web host are you the use of? Can I get your associate link in your host? I desire my web site loaded up as quickly as yours lol|

  35. payday loan

    Thanks for the marvelous posting! I actually enjoyed reading it, you could be a great author. I will always bookmark your blog and will often come back later on. I want to encourage yourself to continue your great job, have a nice morning!|

  36. home improvement list

    My spouse and i felt really thrilled that Albert managed to complete his studies by way of the ideas he discovered from your web pages. It’s not at all simplistic to simply find yourself releasing strategies that many people could have been making money from. We recognize we have the blog owner to give thanks to for that. The main illustrations you have made, the straightforward web site navigation, the friendships you can assist to promote – it’s many astonishing, and it is aiding our son and the family feel that this theme is enjoyable, which is especially mandatory. Many thanks for the whole lot!

  37. cheap homes for sale

    Hi, Neat post. There is a problem with your site in web explorer, may test this¡K IE nonetheless is the market leader and a big component to people will miss your magnificent writing because of this problem.

  38. forex capital

    I simply had to thank you so much again. I’m not certain the things that I could possibly have undertaken without the tricks shared by you relating to this field. It absolutely was a terrifying setting in my opinion, but seeing the very professional fashion you processed that made me to cry with delight. I will be happy for the guidance and trust you know what a great job your are putting in training many others by way of your web blog. Most likely you’ve never come across all of us.

  39. apply for health insurance

    I like the valuable information you provide in your articles. I will bookmark your weblog and check again here regularly. I am quite sure I’ll learn plenty of new stuff right here! Best of luck for the next!

  40. internet

    I just like the valuable information you supply for your articles. I will bookmark your weblog and take a look at again right here frequently. I’m reasonably certain I will be informed lots of new stuff right right here! Best of luck for the next!|

  41. healthy food

    Wonderful beat ! I wish to apprentice while you amend your website, how can i subscribe for a blog website? The account aided me a acceptable deal. I had been a little bit acquainted of this your broadcast offered bright clear concept

  42. home improvement website

    I do believe all the ideas you have offered on your post. They’re really convincing and can definitely work. Still, the posts are too brief for beginners. Could you please extend them a little from next time? Thank you for the post.

  43. long term car rental

    My brother recommended I would possibly like this web site. He was entirely right. This publish actually made my day. You cann’t believe simply how much time I had spent for this information! Thanks!|

  44. http://novaya-rus.ru/?option=com_k2&view=itemlist&task=user&id=1349890

    Noosphere, an online market research startup created by PascalEmmanuel Gobry, is one of Cole Street’s recent clients, who was in need of a CTOforhire, because there was no reason tohire someonefulltimeor to partner with a technical cofounder. All they required for launch was someone who would simply ‘take proper care of all the product stuff’ : defining the product, creating the UX experience, developing it, establishing the payment gateway, and managing the website launch from a technical perspective: hosting setup, DNS management, etc.
    http://novaya-rus.ru/?option=com_k2&view=itemlist&task=user&id=1349890

  45. interior design ideas for living room

    Thank you for the sensible critique. Me & my neighbor were just preparing to do a little research about this. We got a grab a book from our area library but I think I learned more from this post. I am very glad to see such excellent information being shared freely out there.

  46. przekluwanie.com.pl

    When I originally commented I clicked the -Notify me when new feedback are added- checkbox and now every time a remark is added I get four emails with exactly the same comment. Is there any approach you will be able to remove me from that service? Thanks!

  47. payday loans

    Thanks , I have recently been searching for information about this subject for a long time and yours is the greatest I’ve discovered so far. However, what concerning the bottom line? Are you certain concerning the supply?|

  48. times warner cable

    Hello There. I found your blog using msn. This is a really well written article. I will be sure to bookmark it and come back to read more of your useful info. Thanks for the post. I’ll definitely comeback.|

  49. medical

    I would like to thank you for the efforts you’ve put in writing this site. I’m hoping the same high-grade website post from you in the upcoming as well. In fact your creative writing skills has encouraged me to get my own website now. Actually the blogging is spreading its wings fast. Your write up is a great example of it.

  50. cheap insurance

    Have you ever thought about including a little bit more than just your articles? I mean, what you say is fundamental and all. But think of if you added some great pictures or video clips to give your posts more, ”pop”! Your content is excellent but with pics and clips, this website could definitely be one of the best in its field. Good blog!|

  51. cash advances

    What’s up, this weekend is fastidious for me, for the reason that this point in time i am reading this impressive informative piece of writing here at my residence.|

  52. xfinity cable

    Greetings from Carolina! I’m bored to death at work so I decided to check out your blog on my iphone during lunch break. I enjoy the information you present here and can’t wait to take a look when I get home. I’m surprised at how fast your blog loaded on my mobile .. I’m not even using WIFI, just 3G .. Anyhow, awesome site!|

  53. seo consultants

    Great blog! Do you have any hints for aspiring writers? I’m planning to start my own blog soon but I’m a little lost on everything. Would you suggest starting with a free platform like WordPress or go for a paid option? There are so many choices out there that I’m completely overwhelmed .. Any ideas? Appreciate it!|

  54. home improvement augusta ga

    I’m not sure where you’re getting your information, but great topic. I needs to spend some time learning much more or understanding more. Thanks for great information I was looking for this information for my mission.

  55. rental car deals

    you’re in point of fact a just right webmaster. The website loading speed is incredible. It kind of feels that you are doing any unique trick. Moreover, The contents are masterwork. you have done a great job in this topic!|

  56. Phoebe Dannard

    If you’re still on the fence: grab your favorite earphones, head down to a Best Buy and ask to plug them into a Zune then an iPod and see which one sounds better to you, and which interface makes you smile more. Then you’ll know which is right for you.

  57. travel insurance

    Terrific article! That is the type of information that are supposed to be shared across the net. Shame on the seek engines for no longer positioning this submit upper! Come on over and discuss with my website . Thank you =)|

  58. travel sites

    at} {some of the|a few of the|many of the} {posts|articles} I realized it’s new to me. {Anyways|Anyhow|Nonetheless|Regardless}, I’m {definitely|certainly} {happy|pleased|delighted} {I found|I discovered|I

  59. internet service providers in my area

    The other day, while I was at work, my cousin stole my iPad and tested to see if it can survive a 25 foot drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation. My apple ipad is now destroyed and she has 83 views. I know this is completely off topic but I had to share it with someone!|

  60. Sport Attitude

    angeles|California}! I’m {bored to tears|bored to death|bored} at work so I decided to {check out|browse} your {site|website|blog} on my iphone during lunch break. I {enjoy|really like|love} the {knowledge|info|information} you {present|provide} here and can’t wait to take a look when I get home.

  61. Computer speakers

    I have read this post and if I could I desire to suggest you some interesting things or suggestions. Maybe you can write next articles referring to this article. I wish to read even more things about it!|

  62. Elementary School

    Hi there, I discovered your website via Google while searching for a comparable matter, your website got here up, it looks great. I’ve bookmarked it in my google bookmarks.

  63. car rental deals

    I am really enjoying the theme/design of your website. Do you ever run into any web browser compatibility problems? A small number of my blog readers have complained about my blog not operating correctly in Explorer but looks great in Safari. Do you have any suggestions to help fix this issue?|

  64. Criminal Defense

    angeles|California}! I’m {bored to tears|bored to death|bored} at work so I decided to {check out|browse} your {site|website|blog} on my iphone during lunch break. I {enjoy|really like|love} the {knowledge|info|information} you {present|provide} here and can’t wait to take a look when I get home.

  65. charter phone service

    I like the valuable information you provide to your articles. I will bookmark your blog and take a look at once more right here regularly. I am fairly certain I’ll be told many new stuff right right here! Good luck for the next!|

  66. Go Here

    I simply want to tell you that I’m newbie to blogging and site-building and absolutely loved you’re blog site. Likely I’m likely to bookmark your blog . You really come with wonderful well written articles. Thanks a bunch for sharing with us your web page.

  67. Terrence Lehoux

    I enjoy what you guys are usually up too domkisleyt. Such clever work and coverage! Keep up the wonderful works guys I’ve included you guys to my personal blogroll.

  68. solar panel technology

    I think this is among the most significant information for me. And i am glad reading your article. But should remark on few general things, The website style is wonderful, the articles is really excellent : D. Good job, cheers

  69. articles

    Thanks for any other great article. The place else may just anyone get that kind of information in such an ideal manner of writing? I have a presentation subsequent week, and I am on the look for such information.

  70. auto owners insurance

    hi!,I really like your writing very so much! percentage we communicate extra about your article on AOL? I need a specialist in this area to resolve my problem. Maybe that’s you! Having a look ahead to look you. |

  71. sell things

    Thank you for the auspicious writeup. It in fact was a amusement account it. Look advanced to far added agreeable from you! However, how can we communicate?

  72. Tyron Guiterrez

    Zune and iPod: Most people compare the Zune to the Touch, but after seeing how slim and surprisingly small and light it is, I consider it to be a rather unique hybrid that combines qualities of both the Touch and the Nano. It’s very colorful and lovely OLED screen is slightly smaller than the touch screen, but the player itself feels quite a bit smaller and lighter. It weighs about 2/3 as much, and is noticeably smaller in width and height, while being just a hair thicker.

  73. home theatre

    Wow, fantastic blog layout! How long have you been blogging for? you make blogging look easy. The overall look of your site is wonderful, as well as the content!

  74. payday loan

    If some one needs expert view concerning blogging and site-building after that i suggest him/her to pay a visit this weblog, Keep up the pleasant work.|

  75. comcast deals

    Someone essentially assist to make severely posts I might state. This is the very first time I frequented your website page and to this point? I surprised with the analysis you made to make this particular publish extraordinary. Great task!|

  76. seo consultant

    This is really interesting, You’re a very skilled blogger. I have joined your feed and look forward to seeking more of your magnificent post. Also, I’ve shared your website in my social networks!|

  77. payday loan

    My brother recommended I might like this blog. He was entirely right. This put up truly made my day. You can not believe just how so much time I had spent for this information! Thank you!|

  78. time warner packages

    I’m really enjoying the design and layout of your site. It’s a very easy on the eyes which makes it much more enjoyable for me to come here and visit more often. Did you hire out a developer to create your theme? Exceptional work!|

  79. wireless internet

    Simply desire to say your article is as surprising. The clarity in your post is simply nice and i could assume you are an expert on this subject. Well with your permission allow me to grab your RSS feed to keep up to date with forthcoming post. Thanks a million and please keep up the rewarding work.|

  80. air travel tickets

    I¡¦m no longer sure where you are getting your information, but good topic. I needs to spend some time finding out much more or understanding more. Thank you for great information I was looking for this information for my mission.

  81. modern home decor

    I have been exploring for a little for any high quality articles or weblog posts on this kind of area . Exploring in Yahoo I at last stumbled upon this website. Reading this info So i am glad to convey that I’ve an incredibly just right uncanny feeling I discovered just what I needed. I so much surely will make sure to do not overlook this web site and provides it a glance on a continuing basis.

  82. seo services

    Everyone loves what you guys tend to be up too. This type of clever work and exposure! Keep up the awesome works guys I’ve incorporated you guys to my personal blogroll.|

  83. charter phone service

    I love your blog.. very nice colors & theme. Did you create this website yourself or did you hire someone to do it for you? Plz answer back as I’m looking to create my own blog and would like to find out where u got this from. appreciate it|

  84. cash advance loan

    Good day I am so excited I found your web site, I really found you by accident, while I was browsing on Askjeeve for something else, Nonetheless I am here now and would just like to say kudos for a tremendous post and a all round thrilling blog (I also love the theme/design), I don’t have time to go through it all at the moment but I have saved it and also added your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read a lot more, Please do keep up the excellent b.|

  85. browse content

    I just want to mention I am new to blogs and absolutely savored this web page. More than likely I’m planning to bookmark your website . You absolutely come with very good articles. Thanks a lot for sharing with us your web page.

  86. internet options

    Hey there, You’ve done a fantastic job. I will certainly digg it and in my opinion suggest to my friends. I am confident they will be benefited from this web site.|

Kommentarer inaktiverade.