Lättnad

Just nu känner jag mig väldigt lättad! Var nämligen hos kirurgen på Kungälvs sjukhus idag. Förra veckan fick jag tillbaka min cysta som fram tills dess varit borta i över ett år och helt plötsligt vaknar jag en dag upp med den igen. Trodde först att jag inbillade mig, att jag inte alls fått tillbaka den men det hade jag. Gick till vårdcentralen där läkaren inte riktigt visste vad vi skulle göra – operera bort den eller ha kvar den? Vilket kommer göra det lättast för mig? Å ena sidan är det inte optimalt att åka ner till Tanzania med ett öppet sår som förra gången jag opererade bort cystan tog åtta veckor på sig att läka. Å andra sidan så skulle jag inte få ut en bråkdel så mycket av min volontärresa eller kunna hjälpa till så mycket som jag önskat och ville då jag hade så ont… Läkaren skickade en akut remiss till kirurgen på Kungälvs sjukhus och förhoppningsvis så skulle jag få en tid innan jag åkte.

Hela förra veckan hade jag så ont! Och mamma sade åt mig att börja överväga att antingen flytta fram resan några veckor eller fram till våren. Det var ju ingen idé att åka dit ner om jag ändå inte skulle kunna bestiga Kilimanjaro eller ens kunna böja mig ner och plocka upp något från marken. Ringde på torsdagen till kirurgmottagningen och på sjuksköterskan som jag pratade med lät det inte som att jag skulle få en tid alls och verkligen inte inom två veckor och att jag då inte skulle kunna åka till Afrika. Nästan hela torsdagen låg jag hemma och grät – jag skulle verkligen inte kunna åka på grund av den här dumma cystan.

Senare under dagen var jag tvungen att rycka upp mig, jag hade lovat Patrik att vi skulle gå ut och äta, trots att jag egentligen ville ligga kvar i sängen och tycka synd om mig själv. Mitt under middagen ringer en sjuksköterska från Kungälvs sjukhus och berättar att en läkare hade en ledig tid på tisdagen och att hon tänkt på mig. Redan då var det som att en sten föll från mitt bröst – vilken lättnad! Jag skulle hinna få den bedömd innan jag åkte!

På fredagen råkade jag av misstag spräcka cystan. Det var inte trevligt för fem öre och det var blod och var överallt men efter det blev den avsevärt mindre – från att ha varit lika stor som en femkrona och cirka tre-fyra centimeter tjock så blev den stor som en tumnagel och högst en centimeter tjock istället. Och det bästa av allt – den slutade nästan helt att göra ont!

Idag berättade läkaren att jag absolut skulle få åka till Afrika, att det inte skulle vara några som helst problem. Det var nämligen bra att den spräcktes och om den kommer tillbaka så ska jag bara ”sticka hål på den igen”. Och nu sitter jag här, lättad och glad, och kan äntligen påbörja sista spurten innan jag åker. Även efter att jag spräckt cystan så vågade jag inte riktigt hoppas och fortsätta som vanligt med rädsla för vad läkaren skulle säga. Nu känns det fantastiskt. Idag är det 12 dagar kvar, 11 om man räknar att denna dagen redan gått, och som jag längtar!

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